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What AM I Feeling? Am I Burning Out?  

Friday, November 21, 2008

Today, I have this weird feeling which I do not understand. I feel like I am irritated, tired and my head is aching. Seems like I feel the toll of things and stress on me. With lots of upcoming happenings, lots of demands and lots of things to do it seems like I am growing tired of doing too many things. I am getting tired of understanding people... I am just simply burning out...

What am I doing to feel this way? I do not know but it seems I am getting to that limit of tolerance.

I am the chairperson and project of an upcoming environmental forum in May and we still need to raise 1.8Million+ pesos for this. I feel that others in the team are not doing enough to raise the needed funds... or possibly I am also not doing enough... why? Maybe because there is simply more volunteerism than actual compensation for the work specially now that I have lots of responsibilities.

I am one of the organizers of Brotherhood of Destiny (BROOD), an organization which started with just eight people and now we have more than a thousand of members. Yes, we do have many but only a handful really do scomething or are really active. I always understand the way things are but whenever you see the status of the organization, the realities in the world and others around you... I feel like there is nothing we can do.

My love life is not smooth. My heart is confused everyday. I do not know how long I can endure from the loneliness I am feeling... from the true love and understanding that I want to feel.

I feel like I am a stranger in our house. I feel alone... I feel so much more and when times like this occur I fear of what I am becoming... I am burning out... I can't control the feeling because it just happens.

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