Friday, November 21, 2008
What am I doing to feel this way? I do not know but it seems I am getting to that limit of tolerance.
I am the chairperson and project of an upcoming environmental forum in May and we still need to raise 1.8Million+ pesos for this. I feel that others in the team are not doing enough to raise the needed funds... or possibly I am also not doing enough... why? Maybe because there is simply more volunteerism than actual compensation for the work specially now that I have lots of responsibilities.
I am one of the organizers of Brotherhood of Destiny (BROOD), an organization which started with just eight people and now we have more than a thousand of members. Yes, we do have many but only a handful really do scomething or are really active. I always understand the way things are but whenever you see the status of the organization, the realities in the world and others around you... I feel like there is nothing we can do.
My love life is not smooth. My heart is confused everyday. I do not know how long I can endure from the loneliness I am feeling... from the true love and understanding that I want to feel.
I feel like I am a stranger in our house. I feel alone... I feel so much more and when times like this occur I fear of what I am becoming... I am burning out... I can't control the feeling because it just happens.