Crossroads of Life: Ironic Circumstances  

Tuesday, March 4, 2014

Today, I have 100 pesos left in my wallet and I can't help but think what am I doing wrong to arrived at this juncture of lie.  I have not paid house rent for 2 months and is in danger of eviction, has outstanding electricity and water bill and to make things worst have debts to pay as well.  I had helped out people, had loved truthfully and had always been there for everyone and yet it seems, I am always the one left out.

I know that I have lots of friends and also those people that calls me as an "idol."  Yes, definitely an idol who had tons of problems and a financial crisis that can be compared to the United States depression.  In my life the times that I lost a lot of money was the time I get serious in love.  I do not know why but the first time I lost all the inheritance I have, then the next time close to 50K and then the next just more than the previous one.  Plus, to some up all of that, those were unsuccessful relationships in which they left me in the dark, was put in depression and lots more.

I always went to the extreme to help a friend.  Yes, even when I do not have the money I will help them out and then when it is their time to do what they say they would either get mad, make stories about me or not even talk to me, as if they do not know me at all.

While my last love go on with his life texting, having fun and flirting with new guys I am left in a time frozen zone where I kept on thinking, "how would U get out of this dilemma?"

I suffered from Bell's Palsy and cannot work for quite sometime, added to that was two job mishaps before and one did not even bother to pay me their balance of P25,000.

A scenario like this would have been fine and well if I do not have kids with me.  It is okay to suffer alone but not to affect my three kids.  What would I do?  I am running out of ideas... I am at a difficult crossroad in my life.  Why is it that doing good ends up bad for me?  I wonder what will happen in the coming days... but I know for as long as I have faith in God and I fight things would turn out well.

I have tons of bright ideas they say... new concepts to share and lots more but most of the time I am left out, treated badly and sidelined.  Well, I guess life is ironic ey?

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