Behind These Smiles: The masks we wear in our life  

Tuesday, December 9, 2014

Most of you would probably think that I am okay and well you are right I am okay.  I am okay because I think I can survive all the challenges that I am facing in my life and I believe that there will come a time when everything will be alright.

Five months ago I have no job and I live literally at the mercy of others.  I beg for help and I loan money hoping that sooner or later I can find a job and pay them off.  Seven months ago, we were evicted from our home in Pasig without any hope in sight.  Almost a year ago, I was affected by a paralyzing sickness which I thought I would never have recovered.  Seventeen months ago, I entered into a relationship which brought me more suffering than help in an intention to forget things and help someone.  Eighteen months ago, I lost the one that I treasured the most.  And some twelve years ago, I lost a complete family.

These were such the circumstances that I faced before then again things seems to be changing.  Last July I landed at a job that respects my capability and in a company that gives chances to enhance what you know.  I also regain that person which I lost last year, my relationship with my family as well as my love life had been at its best this year as well.

Bells Palsy was perhaps one of my greatest personal challenge
Despite not being in full therapy, I had 85% recovered from Bell’s Palsy and I hope to recover soon.  I was not able to do therapy because I cannot afford the cost that time since I have to provide food for my family.  Luckily by May of 2014 we were able to find a new apartment and despite the inadequacy of water and its far location from work we are surviving.

It is not easy to be a single dad to three kids.  I have to manage my income which 20% goes to my personal food and transportation, another 20% goes to taxes, 12.5% goes to electricity, 5% goes to water and the rest goes to food and to pay some of the outstanding loans I have.

It was not an easy life.  Money was not enough.  I still have to find a way to send my eldest son to college and I hope I can to that soon.  Everyday I spend 4 hours travelling from home to work and back, always encountering traffic on a daily basis.

I still have to pay back those people that have helped me during my greatest time of need and I hope that they would find the time to understand and be patient.  I will definitely give back to them.  I felt good whenever I get invited to events because that is the time that I can eat good food and review them, eat good without checking my budget.

Looking into the future with full of hope and positive dreams.
Despite all of these things I continue to smile.  I am happy that I have kids that understand what life really means.  I continue to dream that one day things would be better and that one day as I leave these earth all the people that I have encountered specially my kids would learn a lot from me.

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