Today is My Birthday and It's Not Easy to be Me...  

Thursday, October 15, 2009

Today, October 16 I am officially 32 years old and I am growing older. It is not easy to be me I tell you. It is not easy to be misunderstood... it is not easy to trust friends and then they will stabbed you at the back... it is not easy to love and to be lost in love... it is not easy to be bisexual... it is not easy to have three kids which you cannot be with... it is not easy to have an uncertain future... it is not easy that you want to look after yourself but your hear and mind tells otherwise... it is not easy that you have inside you a yearning for selfless service and love of your country and people ... and yet circumstances prevent you to really be your best and do your best.

People both hate you and trust you... there are those which think of you as not doing anything... you want to do more but your capacity simply can't support it... you want to work but it seems you are too late for it... you want to excel but it seems you can't do it right. Damn! Sometimes it simply sucks... but still am happy of who I am.

For my birthday I will be giving three songs for everyone to hear. These songs tell a lot about me.

First, Five for Fighting - Superman. Well simply because it is not easy to be me. I want to do many things and I want to help but sometimes I just want to stop and call it quits.

Second, Goo Goo Dolls - Iris. I want the world to understand me more because I think they don't understand and I want them to know who I really am. There is more inside me which wanted to share with others but it seems I am secluded by the world and walls around me.

Third and last, Castlevania - I Am The Wind. The song tells it all. This is in fact my death song. It tells the story of my life of how I would fight both life and death to save a friend... on how I will endure everything just to stay positive and be happy because all the best in me is all I have to give. My life is a continuous test but in the end I want to live my life to the fullest... I want to just give something to the world and share happiness with all of those I will meat.

For those who hate me... for those who thing I did wrong to them... for those who think I made injustice to them... for those who think I stole something from them... I am sorry though I greatly believe that I did nothing of those. If you want to bring me down then bring it on. I will not let anyone of you bring me down for I will remain positive for all the people who believe in me specially for my kids. I will not go down!

Thanks to everyone that continues to believe in me... trust me... love me... and endure my tantrums (yes I have them)... I LOVE YOU ALL and I WILL CONTINUE TO BE TRUE TO ALL OF YOU!

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